


Chaos in Lower Manhattan

by hotchoco195



Series: Green-Eyed Monsters [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Darcy, Babysitting, F/M, Gen, Loki's Kids, Mischief, Very Minor Implied Sexual Content, attempted funnies, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2012-12-15
Packaged: 2017-11-21 05:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/593796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotchoco195/pseuds/hotchoco195
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and Darcy have to go away for a few days, and Thor's promised to babysit. But these kids are a bit too much for even the Avengers to handle...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chaos in Lower Manhattan

“What do you mean, you said you’d babysit?”

Tony looked suitably harassed, but Thor just shrugged.

“Loki and Lady Darcy were called away to Jotunheim on a diplomatic visit. It was not safe to bring the children.”

“Why can’t they stay with your parents? They’ve got a whole palace fit for rug rats.”

“The Allfather is currently resting. He needs peace.”

Stark threw up his hands. “Exactly! Peace! I’m a big fan myself, and there won’t be any with those devils in my house.”

Thor gave him a sad look. “Please, Man of Iron. I require a place to keep them since Jane is away researching.”

Tony swore. He hated Thor’s puppy-dog eyes.

“Fine. They can stay in the Tower, in your rooms, and you keep them out of my workshop, ‘kay?”

“They are not so bad, Stark.”

Tony just laughed helplessly.

 

Bruce stumbled into the kitchen sleepily, yawning as he headed for the kettle. Caffeine didn’t do too well in his system but he needed at least a tea to wake him up properly. He filled the pot and set it brewing, grabbing a muffin from the basket on the counter as he hummed to himself. He turned to grab a mug and froze.

“Hello Dr Banner.”

“Jarvis? Can you tell Tony I need to speak to him?”

“Right away sir.” The AI replied.

Bruce stared at the girl sitting on the other side of the counter. She was reading a book, her dark black hair pulled back off her face. Her dress was light and summery, showing the dark patterns that covered her skin. Beside her, eating with all the grace of their age, two younger boys were demolishing a bowl of fruit. They both had messy brown curls, but the smaller one had bright blue skin and his brother had glowing red eyes.

“Kelda! I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

“Mother and Father were called away. Uncle Thor is watching us.”

“That’s nice.” Bruce smiled falsely as Tony walked in.

“What’s the problem, Bruce?”

The doctor pulled him aside.

“You didn’t say anything about the children staying with us.” He hissed.

Tony looked sheepish. “Surprise?”

“How could you agree to this? Last time they were here Cort had a tantrum that blew up half the lab, and Danhy painted my entire room green. Including my clothes.”

“I know, I remember. But Thor asked and-”

“And you couldn’t say no. The others aren’t gonna be happy.”

Tony shrugged. “The others can deal. My Tower, my say.”

“It’s very hard…to keep a lid on the Other Guy when they’re around. They’re just too, too – boisterous!”

“They love the Hulk! Remember that time you freaked out on the subway and they sang you back to normal?”

Bruce closed his eyes and whimpered. “How could I forget?”

Hawkeye walked into the kitchen behind them and froze. “Young ‘uns!”

“Uncle Clint!” Danhy abandoned his breakfast, running to hug the assassin.

“See, not everyone has trouble with them.” Tony pointed out.

“Only because he’s just as bad.”

“Their father’s the God of Mischief and Lies and their mother is the scariest woman I’ve ever met, including Pepper. What the hell did you expect?”

 

Natasha walked into the TV room and started muttering in Russian.

“Are you praying?” Kelda asked, tilting her head exactly the way Loki did.

“Yes! I..stubbed my toe.”

“Do you want to sit down until it’s better?”

Trapped by a pair of deep green hopeful eyes, she perched awkwardly on the edge of the couch.

“Good book?”

“Yes. It’s from the Allmother’s library.”

Natasha nodded, mind completely blank on where to go from there. Kelda was looking at her sort of adoringly and it made her feel useless.

“You’ve been working on your magic?”

“I try. One day I want to be like Father. He’s better than almost everyone.”

Black Widow shoved down a tremor at that. They didn’t need more potentially crazy wizards in the world.

“But I’d like to be able to fight like you, and Uncle Clint, and Uncle Thor and the others. You’re really good.”

“Lots of practice, you could be that good.” Natasha tried.

Kelda rolled her eyes and went back to her book. “Whoever taught you to lie did a terrible job.”

 

The twins were playing Mario Kart with Clint, laughing evilly, but the redhead strode over and tore him away.

“You could have warned me.”

“Sorry! I forgot how you are with kids.” But his cheeky grin gave him away.

“Where is Thor? Shouldn’t he be keeping an eye on them?”

“He had to make some conference call with Fury. I said I’d try to entertain them for the morning.”

“I need a drink.” She stormed off.

Clint sat back down and picked up his controller, and Kelda came to sit by his knee.

“Uncle Clint, why don’t the others like us?”

“Aw kiddo, they like you fine! They’re just surprised, that’s all. They didn’t know you were coming.”

“We make them nervous. They’re afraid of what we’ll do.”

“Um…no?” he tried.

She gave him a sharp look and went back to her reading.

“What is that anyway?”

“Portals into the Unknown: Raising the Dead.” She answered without looking.

He shuddered for a second before diving back into the game.

 

The captain found them when he returned from his morning workout. Even with Tony’s state of the art gym, he still preferred to jog on the actual streets for a while every day.

“Hey! Who’s this?” he asked.

Clint waved a dismissive hand. “Loki and Darcy’s kids. They’re staying for a few days. Now shush, I’m almost in the lead.”

Steve took a visible step back. “No way. Weren’t you guys like, three last time I saw you?”

Kelda turned to him. “We do not age at your standard human rate.”

“So how old are you now?”

“The boys are about six, I suppose, in Midgardian years, and I would be ten.”

“Practically a lady.” He smiled and she blushed, going back to her book.

Clint looked up suddenly, grimacing. “Hey Cap, do us a favour? Don’t tell Fury they’re here. He’ll have a heart attack.”

“I think I can manage that.”

 

Thor swept into the lounge room with open arms. “Nephews!”

Cort and Danhy dropped their controllers, running into his embrace as the thunder god knelt.

“And Kelda, of course. You grow more beautiful every day.”

“Stop it.” The girl scowled. Thor reached over and ruffled her hair and she swatted him away.

“My thanks, Barton, for watching them. Did they behave?”

“Good as gold, man. Kicked my ass at Wii, the little cheaters.”

“Not cheating! We’ve just got better reflexes.” Danhy poked his tongue out.

“Yeah, cos you’re gods – which is cheating!” Hawkeye threw his controller aside in disgust.

“Well I am here now, and it is not cheating against me.” Thor winked.

“I’m bored of this game.” Danhy pouted, hands on his hips.

“What would you like to do then?” Thor knelt beside his nephew, not noticing Cort follow Hawkeye out.

“Can we go to the park?”

Thor grimaced. “It is a bit hard to explain, but the three of you are hard to pass off as Midgardian children. You will attract too much attention.”

“I can change how we look,” Kelda got off the couch, “Daddy does it all the time.”

“I can do it myself!” Danhy insisted.

“You can’t make it last longer than five minutes.” The girl sneered.

“I don’t have to! I’m not like you and Cort, I’m normal!”

“Take that back!” Kelda held up a hand that glowed blue.

“Enough!” Thor stepped between them, fingers twitching to call Mjölnir, “Where is your brother?”

 

Tony was in his garage, underneath one of the hot rods. He heard Jarvis say something, but the blaring rock music made it impossible to understand. He figured if it was important the AI would cut the sound and kept fiddling with his spanners.

“Where is that smaller wrench? It was just here.”

Tony groped around and found it being offered to him by a small hand.

“Thank you. Wait, what!”

There was a crash as he tried to sit up and smacked his head on the undercarriage. Clutching his forehead and smothering a bad word, Tony wheeled himself out to find a small blue boy crouched next to him.

“Cort, what are you doing down here? How did you get in?”

“I asked Jarvis.”

“He’s not supposed to let anyone in.”

“I asked nicely.” Cort wiggled his fingers and sparks hovered in the air.

“Ah. I thought we had an understanding, buddy – no magicking my toys.”

The boy looked remorseful. “Sorry, Uncle Tony. I just wanted to see what you were working on.”

Tony softened. He patted his lap.

“Alright. Lay here and I’ll show you.”

He managed to wheel them both back under the car without hitting anyone’s head and started pointing out the different parts.

 

“Jarvis! Where is Cort?” Thor demanded.

“In the garage with Mr Stark. They are learning about combustion engines.”

“Why does Cort bother with that Midgardian science?” Danhy wrinkled his nose, “It’s so boring compared to Asgard.”

“Your mother was once Midgardian, child, and she wants you to understand your heritage.”

Both children blanched at the mention of their mother. Danhy reached over and tugged his uncle’s hand.

“You won’t tell her I said anything, will you?”

Thor looked thoughtful. “I don’t know…it depends on how good you are for the rest of your visit.”

“I’ll be so good! I will! I promise! Can we go to the park?”

Thor glanced at Kelda. “I suppose, if your sister can keep you enchanted. You’re already dressed for it.”

Kelda was practically bouncing at the chance to show off her magic. “Come on, let’s go find Cort!”

 

Thor made them wait in the lobby for ten minutes to test Kelda’s enchantment, but it seemed to hold. With a firm grip on the twins’ hands, he bowed his niece ahead of him and they walked the few blocks to Central Park. Cort was fascinated by the people they passed, pointing things out and whispering questions to Thor. Danhy was interested despite himself, occasionally adding things. Kelda just walked, pulling ahead so people wouldn’t think she was with the others.

“So how is the Allfather?” Thor asked, swinging them by the hand.

“Asleep. It’s boring.” Danhy pouted.

“Grandmother promised to teach us some new magic next time we visit.” Cort said.

“Father said he’ll take Kelda to the Allmother to learn from the best, but we’re still too young.” Danhy sighed.

“Would you like to go to Vanaheim?” Thor asked.

“I want to go everywhere! Vanaheim and Jotunheim and Alfheim and Muspelheim-”

“An adventurer! You would be a great explorer?”

“Uh huh, and fight and find treasure and do spells!”

“You will be tall and strong and fierce, I am sure of it,” Thor reached down and cuffed Cort on the cheek affectionately, “And your brother will be a great strategist, I know.”

Cort smiled shyly as they entered the bounds of the park.

“Can we play by the fountain, Uncle Thor?” Danhy asked with a pleading look.

“Very well. But be good!” Thor waved them ahead as he sat on a bench to one side.

In his civilian clothes no one looked twice, and he enjoyed being able to just sit in the sun. The boys were reaching into the water and giggling, running their fingers through the coins at the bottom. Kelda sat beside him.

“Don’t you want to play?”

She screwed up her face. “I’m not a baby, Uncle.”

“You know, you are very much like your father. He didn’t like our games very much either. But he always taught me the importance of having fun while you still can.” He winked.

Kelda gave him a half-smile and went to her brothers. Thor sighed and tipped his head back. There was a splash and he looked up. They were all laughing as they fought in the water, spraying each other. Kelda was using magic to aim her spurts better, and Danhy responded by shoving Cort in front of him to take the brunt of it. Cort turned, spluttering, and pushed his brother flat on his back. Danhy stood with a roar and got his brother in a headlock, using his extra height and strength to wrestle the other boy.

 

Thor was tempted to let them roughhouse, but he didn’t want to make a scene. He stood and headed towards them just as Danhy and Cort managed to knock Kelda over. She drew herself up, soaked to the bone, and shrieked.

“You brats!”

A massive wall of water from the basin rose up and crashed over them, spilling both boys out onto the concrete. Cort struggled to his feet first.

“Not fair!”

He waved a hand and the birds in the nearby trees rose up as one, swooping down on his sister. Kelda screamed and batted at her head while Danhy doubled over laughing. She growled and tackled him, the birds scattering.

“Get off, Kelda!”

“Stop this!” Thor ordered, but they ignored him.

He reached down to separate them and was blown off his feet by Danhy releasing a wave of sound that made every person in the vicinity clutch their ears. People were looking now, some muttering and others drawing out their phones. In the excitement of the fight, Kelda’s spell was fading. Cort was turning a pale shade of blue, Danhy’s eyes going a reddish brown.

“Enough!” Thor picked himself up shakily.

They ignored him. Cort was dodging giant dirt clods being thrown gleefully by Danhy, while Kelda shot her brother with wads of paint conjured from somewhere. Danhy was covered in multi-coloured spots. He turned on his sister with raised hands that streamed flames, and Thor had had enough. He leaped into the fray, seizing Danhy by the back of his shirt and shaking him gently as he held up a hand for his hammer. He could hear the whistle of it in the distance, but it wasn’t quick enough. Cort ran towards them and tripped over his own feet, falling. Thor had a handful of Danhy and one raised for Mjölnir, so he couldn’t catch the other boy. Cort’s arms flung out and landed face up, a flash of pure magic shooting out by accident. It hit everything in front of him: plants changed colour or grew rapidly, branching out around each other, people shrank and swelled and changed into ridiculous outfits, glass shattered and the cars on the road nearby all changed into horse and buggies. Kelda laughed, astounded.

“That was so cool!”

“I didn’t mean to do it! I’m sorry Uncle Thor, it was an accident!”

Danhy had stilled with the shock, and Thor trusted him enough to let go. “I know, Cort. Just…can you fix this?”

The boy look uncertain, but Kelda walked over and slipped her hand in his.

“I’ll help.”

 

Fury steeled himself. He was getting too old to deal with shit like this. Things were much easier back when they could just shoot their problems. He flipped back through the files quickly, but it was nothing he didn’t already know. Kelda, a miniature Loki with her mother’s pouting lips and a bunch of black markings, promising to be a great sorceress one day. Cort, the quietest one, with an interest in Earth that would either make him a great ally or a huge problem. And Danhy…Christ, what was there to say about Danhy? The tallest, strongest six-year-old he’d ever seen with an almost demonic love of trouble. He wished that one would just stay on Asgard – let him be their problem.

There was a knock and he sighed.

“Come in.”

An agent opened the door and ushered in the three children. They looked sorry for all of five seconds before running over to jump on him.

“Director Fury!”

“Did you miss us?”

“We’re sorry about the mess at the park, but it wasn’t really my idea-”

“Was too!”

“Kelda did all the magic!”

“Hush!” Fury held up a hand and they stopped trying to climb into his lap. How had he ended up the favourite of the three naughtiest children in the nine realms? Probably something to do with the eye patch and Odin, but shouldn’t that have made them _more_ scared of him?

 “I don’t care who did it. We had an agreement. You have to mind your uncle or you get banned from Midgard.”

Danhy’s eyes lit up but Cort looked disappointed, and Kelda looked away.

“Now I’m gonna have to call your father and tell him you’re misbehaving.”

The three of them didn’t even bother to hide their smirks. Loki would never punish his children for making mischief. But Fury had one more card up his sleeve.

“And your mother.”

They turned white – even Cort. The trio inched away from Fury, coming together for support, both boys huddling against Kelda.

“We’ll be good. We’ll just stay at the Tower and do our lessons. Right?”

They nodded.

“Just don’t call Mother – please.”

He gave a mock-frown. “Alright, but I’ve got her on speed dial.”

*****

“What do you think the children are doing right now?” Darcy wondered aloud.

“Gods, who cares?” Loki gasped, mouthing her hipbone.

“I worry, okay? You know what they’re capable of and as much as I love Thor, he is just not up to it.”

Loki reached down and stroked her bare leg, scattering kisses over her stomach.

“They’ll manage. How often do we get a few days off?”

Darcy looked around at the opulent, eerily beautiful room. “I missed this. Just you and me, Vanaheim…brings back memories.”

Loki snickered. “If I recall, those memories are responsible for the children you’re so concerned about.”

“Well in the future we’ll just have to bring them. Foist them off on the Allmother.” She grinned wickedly.

“Idunn will love that. Gaea and Freya not so much.”

“So long as they don’t tell anyone we’re here instead of Jotunheim, I don’t care.”

Darcy pulled him closer, kissing him fiercely.

“Oh my love…”

“Let’s make more memories.” She whispered.

“But not more children?” he teased.

“Agreed.”

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for the baby fic, but the idea of mini mischief gods was just too good.


End file.
